You don’t see why it matters. You don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s just dishes. It’s just a gesture. It’s just some party planning.
Who cares?
Not you…because you assume someone else will care. You assume your spouse will take care of it. In a sense, that is why it matters. Because you think it doesn’t and are therefore deciding to put it on someone else’s plate, on someone else’s shoulders to carry.
Things would be better at home, for your kids, for you, if you did care. If you noticed more. If you did more. If you handled those dishes, if you put that away, if you took over that party planning, if you cleaned up. What would it look like if your kids had two parents taking care of things, two parents who were on top of it? How much better would your relationship be if things were more evenly distributed? If your partner felt like they could count on you, if they occasionally felt taken care of?
You could do more. You should do more.
P.S. If you want a great playbook for balancing household duties (and for understanding why this ultimately helps both partners), Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do by Eve Rodsky is a must-read. You can grab a copy here from The Painted Porch. It features 4 easy-to-follow rules to help you prioritize tasks and reduce anxiety—and to ensure that you and your partner each have time for yourselves, too.
