There are things you would have never done before. You’d never have sung a crazy song in public. You’d never have painted your nails. You would have vomited before you sucked snot out of someone’s nose (as Hasan Minhaj did). You’d have rather starved than put on a McUniform and work extra hours at some job you hate.

But you’re gladly doing it now. Why? Because your kids need you to, and that’s your role. We talked recently about how being a parent frees you to care less about what people think. It also frees you from so many of the things that shame or pride would have cut you off from before.

Necessity is a heavy thing…but it’s also liberating. It cuts through the bullshit, through the defenses. If doing a ridiculous dance cheered up your crying toddler, you’d do it in a second, even if there were television cameras around. If your daughter needed a model to practice on, you’d wear whatever she asked. If going to a Taylor Swift concert would get them out of their shell, you’d go—and make bracelets too. If you had to get up at 2 a.m. and drive an Uber to pay for your son’s college, you’d do it—no matter who recognized you.

You are freer now of pretension now, freer from immature notions about what’s cool or not.

You’ll do whatever it takes. You do it all, do anything. You don’t care who sees. You don’t care what it looks like or what it takes out of you. You have a job to do.