If you don’t answer this call, you could lose your job. If you keep passing on these opportunities, you could get passed over in your career. If you miss this flight, the vacation could be ruined. If you let your kids talk to you like that, they could end up being entitled and selfish and rude.

In the course of a day as parents, we make hundreds, thousands of assumptions. We rely on causal links—if this, then that, if not this, then that—that while rarely spelled out explicitly, cause us worry and concern. And here’s the crazy part: Most of this logic is spurious at best. Most of these assumptions are faulty. We’re just making them up…even though they make us miserable!

This is why the use of ‘reason’ as well as reflection were so important to the Stoics. Because in pausing and examining, we find that much of our anxiety, much of our franticness, much of our suffering is self-inflicted and totally unnecessary. Your kid is not a monster in training, they’re having a bad day (probably because they’re hungry or sick or something else). One missed meeting or phone call is not going to determine the future of your life. Sometimes you have travel difficulties—that’s how it goes.

So what’s real in those moments? What are you making up? Pause. Look at the situation with clarity. Without the lens of anxiety, without putting your worries or stress or assumptions on it. You’ll remove those self-inflicted—and likely incorrect—assumptions to be able to face whatever comes with the right reaction.

P.S. If you need a physical reminder to help you with the practice of pausing and reflecting before reacting, we created the Daily Stoic Pause & Reflect Medallion for exactly that purpose. It’s a tangible anchor to help you create the necessary space for clarity when you’re faced with something frustrating, worrisome, or overblown. Reach for it and take the thoughtful pause you need to move forward with the right reaction.

Get your Pause & Reflect Medallion today to start giving yourself some much-needed breathing room.