It’s not like you never said it. It’s just that you were busy. It’s just that they rolled their eyes when you did. It’s just that you didn’t want to spoil them. It’s just that it wasn’t a good time.

Of course, you love them. Of course, you are proud of them. Of course, some part of you thinks this should be obvious. But it isn’t obvious enough. They need to hear it again. They need to hear it more. Because someday, you may realize you missed your chance to say the thing they needed from you most.

We talked about the profound sorrow that Mark Twain felt over the loss of his beloved daughter Susy. Deep in mourning, he wrote of how much he regretted not being more expressive to and about her. “And I felt like saying,” Ron Chernow quotes him in his epic biography, Mark Twain (get it here from The Painted Porch), “’You marvelous child!’ but never said it; to my sorrow I remember it now.”

Don’t wait. Don’t hold back. If there’s something positive you want to say, say it while you can. Tell them. Tell them again. Put it in writing. Put it to them directly. Call them out of the blue. Take them out to lunch. Make a habit of it. Maybe they won’t remember every word. But you’ll never have to remember that you didn’t say it.

P.S. We all want to do the best we can at being a parent, but no one figures it out alone. The dads who do it best have people around them—to learn from, be honest with, to be held to a higher standard by.

That’s the Daily Dad Society. Get the tools, structure, and accountability you need to do your best every day—community support, vetted resources, expert input, and a group of dads who are walking the same road.

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