The thing about having kids is that extra and unexpected stuff is always happening. Somebody gets sick. Somebody’s having a hard time. Somebody needs to be driven across town. Somebody needs expensive orthodontics or qualified for a really cool after-school program. Somebody—your teenager who doesn’t normally reach out—is suddenly open to spending time with you.

The question, what defines us as a parent, is how available we are to deal with all this. Emotionally yes, but also logistically. Like, do you have the sick and vacation days to be able to stay home with them? Do you have the energy to shuttle them to the place they need to go? Do you have the funds to pay for that expense? Do you have the freedom (the power) to change plans and reschedule that meeting until next week?

We learned during the pandemic, for instance, just how vulnerable “real-time” and “just-in-time” supply chains were. They simply couldn’t absorb sudden and unexpected events. So it goes with parenting. If you’re behind, if you’re stretched too thin, if you haven’t prepared for a moment like this, you’re not going to be able to meet it. We need redundancies. We need backups. We need flexibility. We need slack.

Or rather, our kids are going to need that from us. Will we have it? Well, now is the time to answer that question—now is the time to get it so we (they) have it when it’s needed.

P.S. No one figures out fatherhood alone. The dads who do it best have people around them—to learn from, be honest with, to be held to a higher standard by.

That’s the Daily Dad Society.

Learn more and join us at dailydad.com/society.