The bike was nice. So was the trip to Disneyland. So was being able to graduate from college without student debt. They appreciated the presents. They appreciated the clothes that fit.

Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they took for granted what it cost for you to buy a house where they could have their own room. Maybe they didn’t understand what it took out of you to give them a better life than you had, to pay for all this stuff, to pay to go to all these places.

Maybe they didn’t understand because that stuff wasn’t really what they wanted, even if they said they did. Because—and you know this already, you do—all they really wanted was you. They wanted you to be present, more than they wanted presents. They wanted your love, your attention, they wanted your acceptance. They wanted your support. They wanted you to be proud of them. They wanted you to apologize. They wanted you to understand them.

This is still what they want, even if they’re all grown up now. Everything else, even when it was essential like food and shelter, seems secondary somehow. All of it will seem insufficient, even if they got everything material they wanted, all of it will leave them feeling empty if you can’t give them what they really wanted.