Why are your kids so crazy? Why is everything so stressful? Why aren’t they doing better in school? Better at listening? Better at focusing?

Well, maybe you should look at their environment. The house is a mess. Dishes fill the sink. The car is dirty. Every room overflows with toys and stuff. Their schedule is haphazard. The news—terrifying news—is running in the background. They haven’t been given things to do, or projects to complete. Of course they’re crazy. It’s a reflection of their life!

Parents would do well to remember the epigram that titles Gretchen Rubin’s fantastic book: Outer order, inner calm. If you can declutter, if you can organize, if you can create structure, you will find that your kids’ behavior will reflect it. “Clutter attracts clutter,” as Rubin likes to say. “Getting rid of clutter gives a disproportionate boost to happiness.”

No one can concentrate when they are overwhelmed. No one is their best selves when they have twenty things in various stages of completion. Our minds are a reflection of our surroundings, and if we want calm, we can manifest it physically and temporally first. We owe that to our kids…and they’ll thank us with their behavior. 

P.S. This was originally sent on May 20, 2020. Sign up today for the Daily Dad’s email and get our popular 11 page eBook, “20 Things Great Dads Do Everyday.”