You’re going to mess up as a parent, we know this. You’re going to say things you regret. Situations are not going to go like you wanted. Their feelings are going to get hurt. Connection capital will be depleted, even overdrawn.
This is a given. What is up to you though, is how and whether you repair after—how you make it right. In her book Good Inside (which we can’t get enough of), Dr. Becky Kennedy writes of some baseline, best practices for repairing:
“Say you’re sorry, share your reflections with your child—restating your memory of what happened, so our kid knows it wasn’t all in his head—and then say what you wish you had done differently now and in the future. It’s important that you take ownership of your role instead of instigating that your child ‘made you’ react in a certain way. And remember: as a parent, you are your child’s role model. When your child sees you as a work in progress, he learns that he, too, can learn from his struggles and take responsibility when he acts in a way he isn’t proud of.”
This is simple enough but not easy—especially if you grew up with parents who didn’t do this, who never admitted error, never made things right. But it’s something you have to do. It’s part of the job, it’s part of helping them grow up to be mature and decent and loving, as well as knowing that they are loved.
“Good parents don’t get it right all the time,” Dr. Becky reminds us. “Good parents repair.”
I wear HOKAs Mach 6 shoes when I’m walking with my kids in the morning and now we can all match.
HOKA released their new Mach 6 shoe for kids. This shoe delivers a springy, responsive foam in a sleek style. I know both of my boys are going to be racing each other when they put these on. There’s five colorways to choose from. Free your child’s inner speedster for daily fun.
