Yeah, some people won’t get it. Yeah, some people think it’s weak.

But you? You know it isn’t.

Which is why you make no secret about your other life–about your kids, about what being a good parent demands of you, how it competes for your time (and interest) at work.

When she was Senate Majority Leader in Arizona, Sandra Day O’Connor got a call from her son’s school. He had dropped the tray of cookies and the lemonade she had made for his class party. She went home and made another round and took it to him. Meanwhile, all the action stopped on the floor of the legislature. Some of the men–remember this was back in the 1970’s–were shocked. They demanded to know where she was and were aghast when they found out. But when O’Connor returned, she offered neither an explanation or an apology.

Nor should you. If your kid is out sick, you’re out sick. If they have a school play, you’re out for it. If you have to take some time with your baby, you should be able to take that time–public perceptions of paternity leave be damned. If you can’t (or don’t want to) go on some unnecessary work trip–which is at least partly an excuse to go golfing or get away on the company dime anyway–say so. If your most productive work schedule involves leaving early for school pickup and then working the rest of the day at home? So be it. If you need to nurse at the office, commandeer some space for it. If you need a childcare stipend, fearlessly negotiate one at your next performance evaluation.

Your priorities are clear. You have other important demands on your time. You have stuff you gotta work around. There’s not only nothing wrong with that, but in fighting for it–being public about it, confident about it–you’re doing the world a service. You’re helping model for other parents how it should be. You’re creating precedent, breaking down barriers for other parents. That’s a wonderful thing.