No one is saying you have to completely give up on your social life. No one is saying you should drop everything that matters to you, that you dream of. In fact, in ​the Daily Dad book​ we quote this terribly sad line from the mother of the novelist Susan Straight who tried to tell her daughter that when you get married you give up half your life and when you have kids, you lose the other half.

No way!

At the same time, some parents seem to think that nothing in their life seems to change just because they have kids. You see them on social media, taking long trips to Europe with girlfriends or college buddies—not a child in sight. You hear about their daily routines or their work schedule and you wonder when they could possibly have time for anyone but themselves. You see it in celebrity gossip when some newly divorced celebrity is suddenly out on dates everywhere or seen at every party and night club, even though they’ve got a huge brood at home. It reminds you of that crushing line ​from the Tracy Chapman song​, “see more of your friends than you do of your kids.”

Look, you signed up for this. You brought these people into the world. It’s not some part time thing, some minor commitment. It’s the commitment. “Work, family, scene…pick two,” is the other quote we have in ​the Daily Dad book​. You can’t have it all. Or at least, not so much of it anymore. You owe it to them. Even if you’ve got a fleet of nannies. Even if they’re older or you’re splitting custody.

You owe those kids your time. Not left over time, not time after you’ve gotten your Me-time. They get the best time. They are first at the waterfall. It’s just how it works. And not for a little while…but always, as long as they need you.

P.S. These quotes come from the March 1 and June 3 entries of the ​Daily Dad book​, which is full of practical advice on how to be a better parent and have a balanced life while doing so. ​Grab a copy​ for yourself or as a gift for someone else over at the ​Daily Dad store​ today!