You missed them while they were away at school. You want to hang out with them. You want to be an attentive, interested parent. You want to make sure they’re at least learning something in class. You want to make sure they’re alright–that there isn’t something they need to tell you. You don’t want them to get sucked into their screens right when they get home.

So the second they get in the car, the second they walk through the door, you’re on them with questions about their day. You don’t mean to be, of course, but you’re like Will Ferrell’s character in the movie Elf, “I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news – I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?”

Leave them alone! Give them a minute! Especially if you’ve got yourself an introvert. They just spent all day with people. They had to answer countless questions all day at school, many of them timed and graded by a teacher. All the while, their body is growing, they’re raging with hormones and they’re bored. Give them a minute!

Let them decompress. Give them something to eat. Put on some music. Just be there. If you want to talk, maybe share with them something from your day or your life.

Let them come to you.