We’ve said before that it’s never too late. It’s never too late, as a parent, to follow your dreams—to show your kids that they can too. It’s never too late to start showing up. It’s never too late to deal with your demons. It’s never too late to change. Sooner is better of course, but it’s never too late.

It’s also never too late to do that thing we’ve been talking about a lot recently—repair. “Repair can happen ten minutes after a blowup, ten days later, or ten years later,” Dr. Becky Kennedy writes in Good Enough. “Never ever doubt the power of repair—every time you go back to your child, you allow him to rewire, to rewrite the ending of the story so it concludes in connection and understanding, rather than aloneness and fear.”

Look, obviously sooner is better. Deferring repair is not without consequences as our own relationship with our parents demonstrates. At the same time, aren’t there conversations that they could have with us now—things that they could address, take ownership of, apologize for—that would mean quite a bit to us even all these years later? It wouldn’t magically fix everything, it wouldn’t erase the pain of the needless delays, but it would make our relationship better, wouldn’t it? It would help us heal, help us feel loved, help us see them differently?

Well, it’s not different with your kids (and thankfully, less time has elapsed). Whether it was something that happened yesterday in the car, two months ago during an argument or nine years ago when you were less experienced as a parent or still new to your sobriety, you can go back to it. You can address it. Repair it. Rewrite the ending. Conclude with connection. Add understanding. Solve for loneliness and fear.

Not only can you, but you must.