We’ve talked before about something all parents have to remember, especially when they are nearly dead from lack of sleep or nearly at the wits end with a difficult teenager: It’s all a phase. They grow out of it. They grow up. It gets better.
But of course, this bit of relief cuts the other way too. A while back we talked about Bill Perkins’ observation from his book Die With Zero (a parenting book in disguise you can grab at The Painted Porch), where his daughter, who had previously loved nothing more than watching a certain Winnie the Pooh movie, was suddenly over it. Had he known the phase would someday end, he realized, he probably would have watched it more while he could, or been more present as he did.
He concluded with the same conclusion we’re making here, that everything in life is like that. “For several years,” he writes, “I was living the life of a dad who watches his favorite kids’ movie surrounded by his young children. But then one day that stage of my life and theirs was gone. I’m still here, of course, and I can still enjoy other experiences with my daughters—watching their soccer games and dance recitals, for example, and taking them on trips. But someday they will grow up and that version of me will disappear, too.”
There is a last time we do everything. The bad stuff that’s driving us crazy…but also the good stuff we love more than anything. It all disappears at the same rate and we can’t stop that from happening. But we can remind ourselves to appreciate it more, to stay more present in the moment, and not wish any of our limited time together away.
P.S. While we can’t stop there being a last time for everything, we can start to seize each moment—good or bad, difficult or easy, boring or fun—and appreciate it more. It’s why we created the Tempus Fugit medallion (Tempus Fugit translates to “Time Flies,” by the way) as a useful reminder to slow down and stay more in the moment with our children while we still can. Grab one to carry around with you at the Daily Dad store today!
